People who are dealing with change, loss, or loneliness may have a hard time during the holidays. Researchers have found that giving someone a gift, even a big one, isn’t as good for their mental health as spending time with them, being kind to them, and connecting with them. During stressful times, even simple acts like giving someone a warm drink, writing them a note, or listening to them can help keep their hope and strength up. Research in psychology shows that helping other people makes them feel better and gives the person helping them a sense of purpose and happiness. As customs change, people are finding more and more creative ways to stay connected, comfort, and support each other. During the holidays, this roundup offers evidence-based, useful methods for building hope, belonging, and mental support. These come from professionals in a range of fields.

Offer Presence, Not Platitudes, at Christmas

For people who are really struggling at Christmas time, it’s not about plastering a fake smile on and pretending everything’s fine. It’s about letting people know that just because things are tough right now, it doesn’t mean that they can’t get better. 

Hope isn’t all flappy music and inspirational quotes either, sometimes it’s just acknowledging that you’re there, and that things might be hard, but they’re not impossible.

Sometimes it’s the simple messages that are the most effective. Saying to someone that you know they’re struggling, and that you’re there to support them, can be much more powerful than saying “hang in there, you got this”.

Nikita Sherbina, Co-Founder & CEO, AIScreen Digital Signage Software

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Hope Says You Belong Without Perfect Traditions

The message that best embodies hope during Christmas is you don’t have to celebrate the “right” way to belong.

Our research, based on an analysis of 1,118 Reddit comments across 30 communities, shows that many people struggle with Christmas because of new family structures (38%), distance or loneliness (16%), and healing from trauma (11%). For them, hope is not found in celebrations, but in their own permission to grieve or just to celebrate their way. 

Olena Polotniana, Head of Communications at VisitKyiv.com, VisitKyiv.com

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Find Small Sweet Comforts to Sustain Hope

I always think back to my French grandmother’s strawberry jam, which she’d make from her garden and could make any tough day feel a little better. For those facing hardship, hope is just like that–it’s finding one small, simple thing that brings you a moment of comfort and nourishment when everything else is overwhelming. It’s a quiet promise that even from a place of difficulty, you can create something sweet to sustain you until the sun feels warm again.

Livia Esterhazy, Owner, The Thrive Collective

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Act Fast; What Seems Lost Can Return

In 24 years of data recovery work, I’ve learned that loss—whether data or otherwise—is rarely the end of the story. The most hopeful message I can share is this: what appears permanently lost often holds the possibility of recovery, but only if we act while that window remains open.

Chongwei Chen, President & CEO, DataNumen

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Serve Others; Watch Hope Return to You

I’ve watched thousands of people go through Christmas struggling, and the message that breaks through isn’t what you’d expect. It’s actually “hot cocoa and meeting practical needs”–literally.

Through our Christmas Hope trips in Philadelphia and LA, I’ve seen something powerful happen when people serve the homeless during the holidays. We hand out Christmas Hope packets, hot chocolate, and meet basic needs–and what happens is the givers often find hope before the receivers do. Last year, families dealing with their own grief came on these 3-day trips and told us afterward that serving others pulled them out of their own darkness.

Here’s what I tell people facing loss: don’t try to celebrate like everyone else. Instead, go meet someone whose Christmas is worse than yours. Prayer, care, share–in that order. Start by praying for others in pain, then care by asking “how can I pray for you?” to literally anyone (during COVID, I went door-to-door asking neighbors this, which would’ve been weird before but people were desperate to talk). When you’re focused outward, hope shows up uninvited.

The practical message is this: Hope during hardship is found in hot cocoa handed to a stranger, not in trying to manufacture joy for yourself. We’ve run this model for years and the data is clear–servants heal faster than those sitting home trying to feel better.

Jeff Bogue, President, Momentum Ministry Partners